I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
