READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
