Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize