Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
