If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
