Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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