let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
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In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
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Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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