he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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