anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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