I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
