I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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