True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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