On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is my gift to your gina
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
