I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
