If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
