haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize