Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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