I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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