a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
