Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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