I have demons in me.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
so much tequila, so little girl.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
