I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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