i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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