We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
