for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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