I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
