I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
