I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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