youre lurking in front of me
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
