Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
only you would photoshop your dick
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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