I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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