lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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