What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize