we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
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she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
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We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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