About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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