I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
well, you know. whores of a feather.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
