it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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