Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize