we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
