Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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