mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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