T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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