My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Terrible idea I love it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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