Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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