we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
