i was born a porn star she said
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
