So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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