Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
