Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
