I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
