Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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