she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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