Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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