Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You don't make any sense
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