we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
