she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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