Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize