She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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