i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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