Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
