I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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