If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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